I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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