Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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