he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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