I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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