I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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