dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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