and you said cock pushups were impossible
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
