a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize