Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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