I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
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I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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