bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
