I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
