One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
