Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
