I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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