I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
