Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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