I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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