I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo