Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.