she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he just fucked me for my cheese..