At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
