Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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