I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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