i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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