Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
