Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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