the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can you bring me the toilet please
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
