sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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