this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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