And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
