I must be too annoying 4 u.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
