I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
ttyl tear gas
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
