i would punch a child for taco bell
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
