better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
