people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize