Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a hot homeless man
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need a beard to bite.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
