Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
