i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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