Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Drunk is not a location!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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