dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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