trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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