Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Bring me that man meat
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
