Do you still have your period?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
