By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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