yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Even my vagina gasped.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
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I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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