why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
