TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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