I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
