You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
