i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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