So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found puke in my bra..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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