Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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