umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Watching her eat just hurts me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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