He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
