Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
