in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize