Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
