I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
