My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
