is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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