Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
