Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
